The Art of Being Demure: How to Embrace Subtle Elegance in a Bold World
- Joleen Raquel
- Sep 12, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 13, 2024
Is the word "Demure" stuck in your head because of Jools on TikTok?! Cause, same.
I thought i'd write about what it truly means to be demure and how you can embody it yourself!
In a world that often celebrates boldness, standing out, and making a statement, there’s something beautifully timeless about the art of being demure. This quiet, understated elegance is a reflection of inner confidence, grace, and self-assurance that doesn’t rely on loudness to make its presence known. Embracing subtle elegance doesn’t mean fading into the background—it means radiating poise and charm in a way that is uniquely your own.
(Disclaimer: It does not matter if you are demure or not. You are beautiful either way!)
Here’s how you can cultivate demure elegance in a modern, fast-paced world:
Find Confidence in Quiet
Confidence is often portrayed as being bold and outspoken, but there is incredible strength in quiet confidence. When you are sure of yourself, you don’t need to be the loudest voice in the room to be heard. Demure elegance stems from a sense of inner peace and self-awareness, allowing you to contribute thoughtfully and with intention.
How to practice it:
Take time to reflect before responding in conversations. Be present and listen actively. This type of mindfulness creates an air of calm and thoughtful engagement that others will admire.
Master the Art of Subtle Fashion
When it comes to fashion, being demure isn’t about being bland—it’s about choosing pieces that express your personality through soft, sophisticated details. Think of classic cuts, modest silhouettes, and fabrics that drape gracefully over your frame. Soft pastels, muted tones, and delicate patterns are perfect for creating a look that is both feminine and refined.
Style Tip: Build your wardrobe around timeless essentials like an A-line dress, a tailored blazer, or a chic pencil skirt. Pair these with delicate accessories like pearl earrings or a silk scarf for a touch of subtle luxury.
Enhance Your Natural Beauty
Demure beauty is all about enhancing what’s naturally there without overpowering it. A fresh, dewy complexion, soft eye makeup, and a light touch of lip color can bring out your natural features beautifully.
Beauty Routine: Stick to neutral tones—soft pinks, peaches, and taupes—that create a polished yet understated look. Opt for lightweight foundation or tinted moisturizer for a natural glow. A hint of blush, a swipe of mascara, and a delicate lip tint are all you need to achieve an effortlessly elegant makeup look.
Cultivate Grace in Conversation
In a world where everyone is eager to get their point across, practicing grace in conversation can make you stand out. Being demure doesn’t mean you don’t express yourself; it means doing so thoughtfully and with consideration for others.
How to show grace: Speak with intention, using kind words. Avoid interrupting, and when you do share your thoughts, do so with calmness. Politeness and kindness will always leave a lasting impression, even in a noisy world.
Live by Small, Thoughtful Gestures
Demure elegance is often shown through actions rather than words. Little gestures of kindness, like sending a handwritten thank-you note, holding the door for someone, or offering a compliment, can have a profound impact.
Tip for daily life: Integrate small acts of kindness into your routine. These thoughtful gestures not only reflect your character but also contribute to a world that values quiet generosity over self-promotion.
Balance Softness with Strength
Being demure doesn’t mean being passive. It’s a choice to present yourself with softness, while still standing firm in your values and beliefs. It’s possible to be both gentle and assertive, balancing femininity with strength.
How to achieve this balance: Don’t be afraid to speak up when it matters or advocate for yourself in professional or personal situations. Being demure means doing so with calm confidence, not aggression.
Create an Elegant Space
Your environment reflects your inner self, and a serene, beautiful space can enhance your feelings of demure elegance. Whether it’s a corner of your home or your entire living space, creating a calm and graceful environment can inspire a peaceful mindset.
Decor Tip: Opt for light, airy fabrics like linen or silk, soft lighting, and gentle color palettes such as blush, ivory, or lavender. Small touches, like fresh flowers, a delicate vase, or a cozy throw, can make your space feel elegant and welcoming.

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In a world that often prizes boldness, the art of being demure is a celebration of subtlety, grace, and inner strength. It’s about finding confidence in quiet moments, expressing your femininity through refined choices, and living with poise in every interaction.
By embracing this lifestyle, you can make an impact in a way that feels authentic to who you are. Remember, elegance is never outdated, and in a noisy world, sometimes the most powerful statement is a quiet one.
And (in the words of @joolieannie on TikTok) THAT is "Very mindful. Very cutesy. VERY DEMURE!
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